Worst Movies ever: 1960s

 



Hello, my loves! 

I hope everyone has been doing well and enjoyed their holidays! With my busy work schedule, I've been trying to create a blogging schedule that would help my post frequently, but I haven't had much success with it just yet. Finger's crossed, I'll be able to do so soon! 

The Worst Movie's ever Series is where I watch some of the worst movies from each decade and tried to summarize them as best as possible without giving out too much detail. Remember guys, I'm watching this, so you don't have to, LOL. 

This did take some time because there are 10 fucking movies on the list.

The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

This movie was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, which is where I first heard of it, and I have to admit, this movie was bizarre. From murder and necromancy that had nothing to with the film, a soviet scientist who turns into a monster due to being exposed by the radiation from an atomic blast and murder, it was a bit difficult to follow what was happening as the actors have minimal dialogue, and the narration was just... blah.

Eegah (1962)

So apparently, this was supposed to be a horror movie? LOL. The story follows Roxy, who, after hitting this giant (Eegah, who, by the way, is a freaking caveman?) with her car, informs her father, who is a writer, about it. Her father heads out into the desert, but after failing to arrive for his helicopter appointment (well, aren't we bougie), Roxy and her boyfriend Tom head into the desert to look for him. She is kidnapped by Eegah and taken to a cave, where she is reunited with her father. 

Eegah is getting hot and bothered by Roxy. Her father tells her to play nice so that this dude doesn't smash their heads in. They are rescued by Tom and head back to the city where Eegah follows them. He later dies after a fight. 

The film was horribly done, and like the Beast of Yucca Flats, I learned of this movie via an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000, when they talked about Eegah eating shaving cream, which was just fucking gross. 

The Creeping Terror (1964)

This movie, like the last few, was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was such a weird story. The story follows the occupants of a small town that are attacked by slug-like aliens (which is essentially a group of people that have been covered with a fluffy rug, and their spaceship is a fucking RV).

This slug creature goes around, devouring people (who could have efficiently run away because the people under the rug crawl slowly.) 

The creature then heads to the local lover's lane to terrorize the teens resulting in a few being killed. The police pursue the creature. A grenade is thrown, the animal gets blown up. As they try to destroy the spacecraft, it zooms away. 

The audio is delivered like it was being played like an early talkie movie; it was choppy at times and just didn't flow very well. 

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is widely known as Pia Zadora's first motion picture, where a young Pia plays an Alien child. The film opens with two children watching an earth show seeing images of Santa Claus. 

The Martians are advised by the wise man/sage that the children need to learn to be free and express their own individuality. For some reason, that means they need a Santa figure on Mars, so instead of just telling someone to dress up, they just decided to come down to earth and kidnap the Jolly Man from his cave in the North Pole...

Like on earth, some people are not up for the idea, so what do they do? Sabotage Santa's factory that he builds on Mars to make toys... bad guys are beaten, Santa saves the day, the end. (thank god) 

This movie was such a drag, and it was just long for no fucking reason. (Seriously, three fucking hours)

The Horror of Party Beach (1964)

First off, the movie has a weird colour to it. It's technically a black and white movie, but it's just odd... and it starts off with a man throwing a container of hazardous material into the ocean, where one opens. The contents just spill onto a human skull and slowly turns into a monster? (Maybe that's what Nessy is?)

Then cuts to the scene where a band is singing, everybody's doing the twist, a fight happens because a guy is dancing with another guy's girl, and they do the ZOMBIE STOMP! Guys. LOL, it was great. I'll be practising for the next wedding I go to. 

While they are all having a wonderful time, the man in the latex monster suit emerges from the water. He attacks a girl on the other side of the lake, killing her and then comes the most iconic fucking line I have ever heard "do you believe kissing is unhealthy" LOOOOOL, well, during this pandemic, yea, maybe. 

The monster dives back into the water, and the body of the woman it killed washes up onto the shore, sending everyone screaming. 

Dr. Gavin is brought in to help investigate, and in comes the mammy archetype. 

So for those who may not be aware of it, "Mammy Character" is the character that exudes the typical stereotypes of the black domestic servant, typically portrayed as a woman from the south, with the most notable portrayal being done by Hattie McDaniel in Gone with the Wind.

So, Dr. Gavin's housekeeper, Eulabelle, suggested that the young woman's attack was "voodoo" related. We then cut to a large group of women having a slumber party, where the monster, along with his other monster pals (I guess the mob never thought this was going to happen when they threw the bodies into the water) where they then attack the women killing a large number of them. We then get cut to another scene of a newspaper vendor reporting the news. 

Cut to the next scene where three women are trying to change a flat tire, and they also get killed by the monsters, which CLEARLY has a thing for women. It later spots two other women, and while preparing to attack them, they get picked up in a car, which enrages it causing it to attach the female mannequins in a store window, and its arm got cut off. 

The arm is still fucking moving, and Dr. Gavin and Hank (the first dead girl's boyfriend, who is also the lab assistant) are trying to figure out how to kill these creatures when the girl who was with Hank at a party spilled a liquid on the arm killing it. 

What does this liquid contain, you ask!? Salt...

Fucking... Salt. 

Then the only male victims get killed, and then the ending just became a shit storm of stuff happening really quickly. Dr. Gavin's daughter goes by the quarry to test the water and is attacked and hurts her root trying to escape; her dad comes the rescue her, Hank throws a shit load of the sodium mixture and burns the good Doctor and the police help to kill the creatures. 

Hank and the Doctor's doctor end up together, and there's a voodoo doll by her bed? 

I dunno. I'm not sure what to really make out of everything. 

The Incredibly Strange Creatures who stop living and Became Mixed-up Zombies (1964)

I don't know what to make of this movie. All sense of logic just goes out the window. The story begins with an alcoholic and superstitious dancer who has a black cat cross her path. She goes to the fortune teller to find out what it means (it means to find the kitty and pet it) and is told that she's going to die... cool.

The dancer runs out of the tent in a panic and passes a group of friends who came to the seaside to spend the day and decide to visit the fortune-teller. The fortune-teller predicts that someone close to the woman in the group, Anglea, was going to die near watch. As they leave, they run into the fortune-teller's twin sister who seduces one of the men in the group, giving him to desire to watch her act. Angela is so disgusted by it that she leaves the carnival with her boyfriend and their friend stays behind where he is taken to the back and turned into a Zombie. Saucey... 

So the newly minted zombie goes around killing people, not having any memory of what he's done. Turns out that the fortune-teller and her band of misfit friends, or as the movie likes to call them, a group of occultist and monsters (because these bastards couldn't find someone else to blame) have been turning people in zombies by throwing acid on their face (cause that's exactly how that works) and keeping them in the fortune-teller's tent. 

She throws acid on this guy's face and while doing that, the other zombies in the back escape. They kill serval carnival members before being killed by the police. Our newly minted, not yet a zombie hero is chased by the police to the shoreline where he is shot dead in front of his friends. 

Monster a Go-Go! (1965) 

So far, all of the movies, while yes they are horrible are not as bad as this one. This was the worst thing I've ever seen. They make those horrible Bollywood movies from the early 2000s look like masterpieces. 

The entire situation with this movie was just horrible. While originally filming this movie, they ran out of money and the production had to be abandoned. When it was picked up again, not a lot of actors wanted to return, so the characters were just re-casted and in the case of one actor who agreed to come back and had gotten fat, bald and sporting a fashionable goatee was re-casted as a brother... 

combining the newly shot scenes with old ones, horrible lighting that just completely whited out the actors' faces and the worst audio ever and you couldn't understand any of the things that were being said.

Oh and the astronaut that the soldiers were chasing? He's been chilling in the ocean the entire time.

What?!?!

Manos: The Hand of Fate (1966)

I honestly couldn't focus on the plot of this movie because it made no sense, because everything about it was just horrible. Poor editing, horrible dialogue delivery, bugs flying into the cameras, the clapperboard being visible between scenes... good god.

Also, what always bothers me about these movies... what has the Satanists ever done to you? 

Reading about the plot and production after was just horrible. From rushing the shooting, night shoots because all of the actors had day jobs, dubbing was done after by only a few people, and it was really just bad. This is probably the first movie in their decade to make me question why I'm doing this project.

A Place for Lovers (1968)

Plot, 50 words or less:

American Woman whose about to drop dead meets a good-looking Italian guy, doesn't tell him that she's sick, he finds out and pretends to not know until she kicks the bucket. 

The end. 

Now please give me this bucket so I can throw up in it. 

They Saved Hitler's Brain (1968)

I didn't pay attention to this movie because it was complete shit. 




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